January 2019 Reflections Journal

Reflecting on the previous month helps me focus on the upcoming month. So, even though it is February, this is my January Reflections Journal.

The year officially started on the 8th. The first week of January, we are still winding down from the holidays. At least, that has become our new tradition since moving.

And we had a lot of “winding down” to do. This was the first holiday season we were joined by my youngest daughter’s dad since we moved. He had never even been to the other house.

I did not know what to expect, obviously. He had assumed he could just invite himself. However, I knew in order to teach my daughter how to be lovingly strong, I would need to set boundaries before his arrival.

Which I did. From giving him his own bedroom to allowing him to accompany me in the community as I went about my obligations. Not only did he get the opportunity to see what I do, he also assisted in some areas.

Of course, I also had to eventually set boundaries on that as well. When he suggested that I give him the business card to make a scheduled withdrawal, seemingly in an effort to assist me…I saw that he was trying to take over.

Nevertheless, I was grateful that he was able to witness my independence. And, it brought a smile to my face to show him I had neighbors around who truly cared.

We had some really good morning chats over tea and coffee. Being able to enlighten one another on our emotional states and where our thoughts were in the uncomfortable past released so much weight and tension.

I talk (and write) a lot about the holidays being a time of reflection. Honestly, any holiday I celebrate I try to reflect on lessons learned. This time was no different. As far as being able to reflect. But, I also got the opportunity to release…and grow.

Release the anger I was still holding and hiding behind my back.

Release the victim mentality I had allowed myself to identify with as a result of circumstances.

Even help to release the hurt and anger I had unknowingly triggered in my daughter’s father.

And grown into a strong and loving human being.

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